well jay its been 8 weeks today Friday since I last saw you. That day will be with me forever...I just wished you could of explained why you where angary that Thursday...you knew I was always there for you we done a lot together and I miss it, I knew you had a bit of a hard life. But I was always there for you...I, finding it very hard to come to terms with it I think of you every day .and the plans of us going out together and away for our breaks I now know will never happen...I hope your with nan and grandad.I miss your voice. You had a kind loving hart.. and your mum misses her kisses I will chat another day ..all my love Dad xxxxx

I had to contact you as you left me far to early,,,I cant get used to you not being around///the last time we spol I will never forget...you where just getting out of the car then turned to me and said sorry foe yesterday dad I was in a bad mood ...then you walked away to the chemist...that I remember so well...I dropped you home at that was rhe last time I saw you...I feel so guilty for not popping in on that Monday things might of been different...I lost someone I love so much its killing me inside...mum greaves in her own way ,,but I have nobody to talk to...I still have to think if I am planning anything because you where always there to talk to I have tried so hard to come to terms with the loss of you but I can't.. I drive pass your flat some times but cant pop in...I just wish I know what was going through your mind at the time and why this happened I lost nan and grandad within a year of each other that was very hard at the time ..then we lost Brenda and Peter to cancer...that was very hard but losing you is killing me I have never felt so much pain in all of my life..my so my friend has gone but not forgotten; I love you so much I cant let go ..lkve you always xxx Dad

Hey dad so I’ve decided this is where I’m going to go when I just need to talk to you and write down how I’m feeling , I didn’t think I’d feel like this at all after how rocky our relationship was but it has its hit me like a ton of bricks and I miss you so much it’s unreal I wish you was still only found the corner so I could come and knock and say hello or even nothing at all but to just see your face give you a cuddle anything from you , I’ve never lost anyone close to my heart like this before so it’s never been I’ve learnt to feel or dealt with and I’m struggling to get on knowing I’m never going to see you again never hear you nothing and i feel empty before hand I always had hope on my side or the fact I’ll just bump into you but now I know it’s impossible for any of that to happen and it’s destroying me and I can’t get to grips with it , sound stupid I know but we all know that’s just me lol anyway dad I’m off to bed I love you and I’ll more then likely be back soon to write more I hope your spinning the decks up there I love you xxxx