Hey dad so I’ve decided this is where I’m going to go when I just need to talk to you and write down how I’m feeling , I didn’t think I’d feel like this at all after how rocky our relationship was but it has its hit me like a ton of bricks and I miss you so much it’s unreal I wish you was still only found the corner so I could come and knock and say hello or even nothing at all but to just see your face give you a cuddle anything from you , I’ve never lost anyone close to my heart like this before so it’s never been I’ve learnt to feel or dealt with and I’m struggling to get on knowing I’m never going to see you again never hear you nothing and i feel empty before hand I always had hope on my side or the fact I’ll just bump into you but now I know it’s impossible for any of that to happen and it’s destroying me and I can’t get to grips with it , sound stupid I know but we all know that’s just me lol anyway dad I’m off to bed I love you and I’ll more then likely be back soon to write more I hope your spinning the decks up there I love you xxxx